Adversity is the bane of human existence. Gautama Buddha is quoted as saying “life is suffering” but this statement is sometimes misunderstood because it is often made as a statement out of context from the Buddhist philosophy. It means that the natural condition of life can be difficult but Buddhism also teaches that it is this hardship that we must overcome in order to grow spiritually.

In Buddhism the symbol for enlightenment is the lotus blossom that is intensely fragrant and beautiful to behold. It is a metaphor for the rewards that result from growth. The lotus blossom grows from the depth of a muddy mire to finally reach the surface of the pond. This is symbolic of the soul navigating through the dark waters of unresolved and dark emotions to finally reach the light of understanding. However, at this point the lotus is still in bud and needs to experience the warmth of the sunlight to finally bloom. We humans are like that bud and our search
for understanding through reading and studying is the light that helps us to blossom. Then after we blossom we can share our beautiful fragrance with those who come near to partake of the wonder of God and the Life that has been given to us.

Suffering isn’t mandatory, it is a choice. We oftentimes think that the two terms are interchangeable but in reality they aren’t. Adversity is the experience, suffering is the reaction to the experience. Even Jesus, perhaps the greatest of spiritual masters, was known to suffer (think of the emotional and mental agony he experienced in the garden the night before the crucifixion and the torture he endured prior to his death). However through spiritual growth every soul is able to overcome the suffering of the human condition. It doesn’t mean that adversity disappears, but that as the soul grows it is able to find peace in the midst of turmoil.

There are two forms of adversity. One kind stems from within oneself usually caused by the adherence to faulty belief systems and the choices made as a result of having those beliefs. An example of this type is drunk driving. Most people who are arrested for DUI think that they are sober enough to drive, which is obviously a misconception, a faulty belief. In California when people are stopped due to DUI, they are arrested and put in jail, have to pay bail, then hire an attorney to represent them in court which could ultimately result in heavy fines and having their driver licenses suspended. It could cost them thousands of dollars, the inconvenience of transportation problems, and great embarrassment. Worse yet are the ramifications if driving under the influence results in the injury or death of innocent people.  Addictions of all kinds whether alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, sex, or food are forms of escapism from the vicissitudes of life. Even though these addictions may be an illness, its cause stems from within the person suffering from it.  Also under this category but much less obvious is the adversity that arises from the lack of self-esteem or confidence causing one to continually draw the same type of dysfunctional people or harmful situations into their lives such as abusive relationships, power struggles, prosperity issues, or under-employment that results in far less income or responsibilities than the people are capable of.

The second form of adversity comes from without. War or the grave illness or death of a loved one comes to mind to describe this category. Even though there may be nothing that a person can do to prevent this type of adversity, the antidote for it is the same as it is for the kind that arises from personal choices. The answer lies in how we look at and handle the suffering that is experienced as a result of misfortune. Finding peace within is the universal answer. Remember too that it may be easier to handle some situations in your life than others. Gracefully handling adversity and finding peace within may take experience but it will only develop if you are able to admit that you or the situation can change and then release the pain to a higher power (whatever you call that power). The 12-Step programs teach that one cannot control the pain out of sheer will.

The question is how does one find peace when ones world seem to be falling apart? The answer is easy once you learn how to do it but getting there is another story. I compare it to learning how to ride a bicycle. No one can tell you how to do it although they can give you some assistance. The way most of us learned how to ride when we were children is that when we fell off, we picked ourselves up and got right back on and tried again and again until we were finally able to find the balance needed in order ride it. (Finding balance so that you can ride a bicycle is a metaphor for finding balance so that you can ride smoothly through life.) Children are undaunted when they want to achieve something and we have to be as determined as a child in order to find peace and harmony in our life. Children also have faith in themselves because they haven’t yet learned that they can’t do something.  Assistance is always available and as the old saying states
“when the student is ready the teacher will appear”.  My father was the one who taught me how to ride. He would hold the back of the bicycle upright for me as I pedaled. Occasionally he’d let go for a few moments to see if I could maintain the balance and if I seemed to quaver, he’d take hold of the bike again. I remember the time that I finally maintained the balance, I was riding the bike but hadn’t realized it until Dad called out to me to let me know I did it. Some children used training wheels. Whatever the form there is always help available.

The teacher might not be what you are expecting. It could be the wise words from a friend, a counselor, a book, or even a class. It might not be the guru that you are looking for. Gurus don’t give you magic answers, but rather the keys to finding the answers you are looking for from within. I remember when I lived in Long Beach in the late 70’s or early 80’s, I saw a poster about a talk that the spiritual teacher Krishnamurti was giving in Ojai. I spontaneously jumped into the car and drove the distance, parked my car and found a spot on the grass and waited for the words of wisdom. I was expecting him to unveil the secrets of all ages. His wisdom came in words that made the seeker think. In fact these lectures were published in a series of books called Think on These Things.

However, one doesn’t overcome adversity from studying, positive attitude, and determination alone. It takes fortitude, which is one of the four cardinal virtues of antiquity. Fortitude is the courage to confront fear, uncertainty, and intimidation. Think of the image of a warrior about to go into battle. He centers himself, becomes grounded, and finds the strength within to face anything that comes to him. It doesn’t mean that he isn’t afraid but rather that he has controlled his fear so that it doesn’t control him. He has to maintain a positive attitude otherwise he will surely die in battle. Our adversities are the battles that every spiritual warrior has to overcome and we have to do as the warrior does: face it directly instead of denying it or even worse running away from it.

What Causes Adversity?

Everyone experiences adversity because it is part of the human condition. Overcoming the difficulties in life teaches each soul the lessons that it has come into physical embodiment to learn. Sometimes the soul brings the lesson into this lifetime from previous lives. Oftentimes it will appear as if something “bad” has happened for no apparent reason but it is a natural result of karma, the law of cause and effect. Normally when most people think of karma they believe that what you did previously (whether in this lifetime or in a previous one) comes back to you tit for tat and sometimes that is true. For example if you were violent in a past life perhaps in this lifetime you will experience violence or you may work to combat it. Of course the opposite is also possible in that if you did good deeds that you may benefit from them during this lifetime but we are talking about adversity and suffering so that part of karma doesn’t apply here.

Karma extends beyond that however. It could mean that you began learning something in a past life but hadn’t mastered it yet. For instance one lesson that many people have is in owning their power. The soul carries the emotions and memories from all lifetimes within itself and it will repeat those lessons until it is learned. When you have lessons to learn you will attract the people who will reflect that lesson back at you. It is very easy to blame the other person as the reason for your problems. We all hear people say “If only he or she wouldn’t do that my life would be better.” In reality you wouldn’t attract the person or the situation into your life in the first place if you didn’t have a lesson to learn.

The trick is turn the situation around and look at yourself. There are several questions you can ask yourself such as:
•    What is this experience teaching me?
•    Why did I attract it?

For instance, when I worked in San Francisco several years ago, I had my wallet stolen out of my purse at work and then exactly two weeks later to the day I was mugged on the front steps of my apartment and had my wallet stolen again. Instead of asking “Why me?” I asked “Dear God, what are you trying to tell me?”  When I conveyed the occurrence independently to both my sister and a friend they both thought that perhaps I needed to move back to Sacramento. Interestingly, I had already been thinking about moving back unbeknownst to either of them so I took it as a message from God that I needed to follow through with my desire. The fact that I found a job and a place to live immediately and was living in Sacramento within a month’s time was proof positive that I had received the message loud and clear.

For those who don’t get the message the first time, the Universe may continue to increase the adversity until actions are taken. The virtue of fortitude is needed to help one to face the fears involved in making the needed changes.

•    If you have had previous experiences that were similar to what you are now facing, ask yourself “What is it that I am not getting?”

Maybe you have learned part of the lesson but have not yet mastered it in its entirety. Remember that growth isn’t usually linear but rather spiral as if you are climbing a mountain via switchbacks. Each time you see the same view you have progressed one level higher. Be mindful and resolve to learn from what you are facing but don’t beat yourself up. That will do more harm to your confidence and will make the lesson even harder to learn.

It may also mean that you are trying to solve your lesson in the wrong manner. I once had a boyfriend who had been fired from a job that he wasn’t happy at. This had happened to him twice previously so I asked him his thoughts about having it happen again. He admitted that his reaction to his dissatisfaction with the job was that he complained without any seeing any changes. He then realized that if he was dissatisfied in a future job that he would need to try a different approach other than complaining, which could be seen as negativity. Additionally, this experience may have been telling him that he needed to change not just his attitude, but perhaps the type of work he was seeking. Many times the message one needs to understand when one gets fired is that it is time to change jobs or switch careers. This segues to the next question.

•    Is there something I can do to remedy it? 
There is always something you can do to remedy adversity although sometimes there isn’t an immediate fix. It may require speaking up, taking or changing actions, or even something as simple as changing an attitude. In the late 1970’s I had taken a job as wholesale furniture rep after having been in retail for about eight years. I stopped to visit some former co-workers and conveyed my frustration to the manager with whom I was close. He told me I had a bad attitude. I soul searched and realized that he was right and changed my focus. Things immediately got better.

However, sometimes it means leaving a circumstance such as an outgrown job or dysfunctional relationship. How do you know if there is still something to learn from the difficulty or if the lessons are over? The answer doesn’t lie in making an escape from the pain but should be based upon whether or not the lesson has been learned and that answer may be different for different people experiencing similar situations. Prudence also known as practical wisdom is another one of the four classic cardinal virtues that answers this question.  According to Wikipedia “Prudence is the ability to judge between actions with regard to appropriate actions at a given time.” It means to be careful but not timid in choosing the best actions for achieving good results. Aristotle believed that it was difficult for the young to be prudent because they do not have enough experience and sometimes there is a lot to be said for learning from ones mistakes. Making a wrong
decision should ideally lead to understanding. That is why young people are expected and allowed to make mistakes. A wise person, however, knows when to ask for help and when to heed the advice from those who have had previous experience in a particular dilemma.

Another of the four cardinal virtues that can help overcome suffering is temperance. When most of us thinks about temperance, we think about the Women’s Christian Temperance Union of the late 1800’s that promulgated abstinence from alcohol. However non-drinking was only one of their many issues that were based upon their adherence to the Christian virtues. The Christian perspective of the cardinal virtues were developed from the classical tradition derived from Plato’s teachings. They were expanded upon by Cicero, a Roman philosopher and politician, and were then adapted by Christians such as St. Augustine and Thomas Aquinas. Plato taught that to be temperate meant to be healthy-minded. It refers to the ability to practice self-control, abstention, and moderation in the appetites of human desires and needs. Sometimes our inability to control our appetites lead to over indulgences that result in negative outcomes such as the addictions that were addressed earlier (alcoholism, drug addiction, over-eating, gambling, and sex and shopping addictions). In our society we have a tendency to judge addictions as bad or evil and the addicted person as a sinner or someone with low morals. The Buddhist philosophy doesn’t judge actions as right or wrong but teaches that whatever is out of alignment with what is right causes pain so if your life is out of balance, changes are in order.

So overcoming adversity boils down to making appropriate changes whether in thoughts, words, or actions. It requires being mindful of those thoughts and actions and incorporating them into decisions based upon your highest level of knowledge. It means learning from your errors in judgment so that the future will bring better results. Learning from your “mistakes” necessitates being accountable for what you did but refraining from being so hard on yourself that you are immobilized by the fear of making a future mistake. It requires emotional and spiritual maturity. Maturity is a process and it is through adversity and how we handle suffering that we become mature. You are a like an apple seed that God planted in the soil. This seed requires water and rich soil to grow under the ground even before it breaks the surface. The water is your desire and the soil is what you study and learn. Then when you are ready you break the surface of the ground to face the sunlight (which is a metaphor for God) that shines upon you so that you can grow to full maturity as a tree that bears fruit. That fruit is what you give back to the world. So yes, everyone experiences adversity in their lives, but gain whatever it is that you need to learn from it and then share the fruits of your labor so that you and others can learn from your pain.

Next month’s Blog: A Mystical Interpretation of the Rosary